life has been like fog

'twas a foggy friday evening on the 30th of November when we ran to the golf course planning to ride boogie boards down wet grassy hills, hoping we'd order pizza and watch a few movies after that. the leftover rain on the grass was drying up fast and we knew that plan was over.

while returning to the house we stepped in some mud with our bare feet. we were all just rinsing off when suddenly, what I was avoiding for four whole years, happened. my left knee dislocated for the 5th time and I fell to the ground screaming in pain. at least I get to keep my little hospital tag as a souvenir, eh?

I'm unable to put any kind of pressure on my left leg, which is really frustrating because I'm an avid runner. however, the christmas movies and loads of soft blankets my mom bought have been making me feel a bit better. meanwhile, my cat has been the only visitor I've gotten in the past 3 days; hopefully my friends are having much more fun spending time outdoors and flaunting how nice the weather is (sarcasm's my best friend).

So, 

unable to go to school during the rainstorms because my crutches will slip, 

unable to go christmas shopping, 

unable to run for time trials in track on Tuesday, 

unable to sleep comfortably, 

and unable to wash my hair, 

I'd say life has been like fog lately. it looks a bit dangerous inside but the further you go, the clearer it eventually becomes. I'm just waiting for things to clear up soon. 

something good has to eventually come out of this, right? as much as this sucks, to be clear, I feel like this definitely happened for a reason, and after being revisited by that dislocating pain, this reason better be really important. 

-alexa

I never saw you coming

Sometimes I feel as if this whole world is based on what everyone has. Who has the clothes, the likes, the friends, the life. Then I get this discontented thought that I don't have enough. Truth is, I'll go through one album of around twenty pictures I have stored away in my computer, and happiness instantly refills itself.

when people start playing a role in my lack of confidence, I focus on everything else. The way the city looks at night, how good pomegranates taste, a sun glare before a drive, the moon, my kitty sleeping carefree in front of the fire, and saving out of focus pictures from the trash.

and after reviewing all of this, I forgot what I was even unhappy about in the first place.

-alexa

sand in your shoes

clearing your head can only be so easy, but it's surprisingly easier with the sound of low-tide waves crashing on the shore at the end of a slow day.

                  

Right now, clearing my head is really all I need. I'm so blessed to live in a perfect place to do so. the ocean washes your worries away. once you visualize how beautiful it is, how it never leaves you, what could possibly make you sad? nothing. let your worries fly with the wind. 

keep your head up ☀

-alexa